Back from the Road

Well, I'm back in Tuscaloosa. I spent the last few days in my home town and it was very nice to be back there. I miss my family. It's always a thing with me... wanting to be here and there.

I got to see everyone except my oldest niece. I missed her but I'm going to be sure to catch her next time. My sister and her family are at the beach soaking up the sun! Dawgs. But I got to spend some quality time with my youngest niece. She is sooo funny and sweet. She's 10 going on 30. But she is so smart and talented and witty. I can't wait to see what she grows to be. And her little brother is a cutie patootie. Learning to talk and so sweet too.

My mama, as always, makes everything in the world better and brighter. She is hands down the sweetest spirit I have ever been blessed to have in my life. I thank God I was blessed with her for my mama. She is the sweetest, most kind-hearted, generous person. I have not always shown her just how much I think of her but I do try to let her know how special she is sometimes. My trip was to surprise her for her birthday. Sometimes I wonder, has she been loved enough? Has she been appreciated enough? Has she felt enough kindness? Does she know she's needed? Does she know people want her company and find what she has to say important? And it hurts my heart in a way I can't find words for to think she may not know any of these things or feel any of these things at times... especially when she doesn't know because we may not show her in little ways like the way we speak with her or when we fail to include her or when we talk to her like she is being silly or when we are disrespectful. I pray God shows her somehow just how special she is to us who love her but don't always show her enough what she means. Being a mother seems like it would be a non-stop heartache!

So, as always, I'll spend the next few days kind of blue missing my mama and my sisters and home. I like having my own space but I like being surrounded by family too. And I've been away from home for 16 years now... I can't help wondering sometimes what my life would have been like if I had never moved and thinking about all the little things I miss out on.

I wonder if they think the same of me too.

(sigh)

But I am back... back to work and every day things. My family and home are always in my heart.